Everyone loves a good joke! Whether you need a laugh during a rough day or want to share something funny with friends, we’ve got you covered. These 200 funny jokes are packed with humor for every occasion. Read on, enjoy, and share these hilarious jokes!
1. Classic Funny Jokes
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field. - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. - Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot! - What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
2. Short Funny Jokes
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised. - Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up. - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot. - Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems. - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
3. Dad Jokes
- What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y. - Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent. - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time. - How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
4. Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, cow says “moo.” - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
5. Animal Jokes
- Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks! - What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer. - Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse. - Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away. - How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
6. Puns
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint! - I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something. - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- The graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
7. One-Liners
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
8. Kid Jokes
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus. - Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go. - How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together. - Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9! - What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
9. Holiday Jokes
- Why was the turkey asked to join the band?
Because it had drumsticks! - Why do mummies love Halloween?
Because they’re too wrapped up in it! - What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper. - Why don’t vampires like garlic?
It’s bad for their bite. - What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
10. Corny Jokes
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it. - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite. - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired. - What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner. - Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels!
11. Food Jokes
- Why don’t bananas ever get lonely?
Because they hang out in bunches! - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing. - What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing but let out a little wine. - Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.
12. Work Jokes
- Why don’t coworkers ever tell secrets in the break room?
Because the walls have ears. - My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
- Why did the employee go to work in a suit of armor?
He heard the job had great benefits! - I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
- Why don’t calendars ever have secrets?
Because their days are numbered.
13. Science Jokes
- Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything. - What’s a scientist’s favorite dog breed?
A lab! - Why are chemists excellent for solving problems?
They have all the solutions. - What does a biologist do at a math party?
Finds the root. - Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
14. School Jokes
- Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright! - Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. - What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi. - Why was the student’s report card wet?
Because it was below C level. - How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With experi-mints.
15. Doctor Jokes
- Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places!
Well, stop going to those places. - Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood. - I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places. - Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 who says he’s invisible.
Well, tell him I can’t see him right now! - How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
16. Lightbulb Jokes
- How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that’s a hardware problem. - How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles. - How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprise twist at the end. - How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and the final frontier. - How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
17. Technology Jokes
- Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open. - Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide. - Why don’t robots ever get angry?
They have too many bytes. - Why did the smartphone need glasses?
Because it lost all its contacts. - What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybe.
18. Pirate Jokes
- Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck! - What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You’d think it’s the R, but his first love be the C. - How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear. - Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrr-ticulation. - What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A rookie.
19. Ghost Jokes
- Why don’t ghosts like the rain?
It dampens their spirits. - What room does a ghost not need in their house?
A living room. - What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Boo-berries! - Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them. - Why do ghosts like elevators?
It lifts their spirits.
20. Fish Jokes
- Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net. - What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh. - Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom. - How do fish get from one school to another?
By octo-bus. - Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
21. Music Jokes
- What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-na. - Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired. - Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert?
To reach the high notes. - What do you call a cow that plays an instrument?
A moo-sician. - How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but they’ll break five bulbs before they figure it out.
22. Math Jokes
- Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else. - Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert. - How do you make seven even?
Take away the “S.” - Why was the obtuse angle so upset?
Because it was never right. - What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
23. Movie Jokes
- Why do movie stars love elevators?
They lift their spirits. - Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?
They don’t have the guts. - What’s a movie director’s favorite snack?
Popcorn. - What did one movie say to the other?
I reel-y like you. - Why was Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she kept running away from the ball.
24. Space Jokes
- Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He needed space. - How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it. - Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter! - What do you call a star’s bad behavior?
Star-gate. - How does a man on the moon get his hair cut?
Eclipse it.
25. Weather Jokes
- What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis. - What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister. - What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You might step in a poodle. - What did one raindrop say to the other?
Two’s company, three’s a cloud. - Why don’t clouds ever break up?
Because they keep cirrus relationships.
26. Farm Jokes
- Why did the cow become an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way. - Why did the horse go behind the tree?
To change its jockeys. - Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work. - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef. - Why did the farmer ride his horse to town?
It was too heavy to carry!
27. Medical Jokes
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. - What did the doctor say to the patient who was in a rush?
You’ll have to be patient. - What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URLologist. - Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?
In case she needed to draw blood. - Why did the doctor join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks!
28. Halloween Jokes
- Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind. - What do you call a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange. - Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with. - How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the “W.” - What is a monster’s favorite dessert?
I scream!
29. Fairy Tale Jokes
- Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running away from the ball. - What did the princess say to her prince?
You are the one I’ve bean looking for! - Why did Jack take a ruler to bed?
To measure how long he slept. - What do you call a fairy who doesn’t take a bath?
Stinkerbell. - Why was the frog so happy?
Because it ate whatever bugs it.
30. Money Jokes
- Why did the bank teller quit his job?
He lost interest. - Why do millionaires get married?
Because they don’t want to be penny-less. - How does a bank rob a pirate?
With an accounty. - Why did the robber take a bath before stealing from the bank?
Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. - What happens when you cross a pig and a cent?
A piggy bank.
31. Dog Jokes
- Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog. - Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in squares. - What did the Dalmatian say after dinner?
That hit the spot. - Why did the dog bury its bones in the ground?
It wanted to play fetch with the worms. - Why don’t dogs make good dance partners?
They have two left feet.
32. Lawyer Jokes
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more. - Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy. - What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start. - Why did the lawyer go broke?
He lost his appeal. - What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Lawyers have removable wing tips.
33. Magic Jokes
- What do you call a magician who loses his magic?
Ian. - Why did the magician fail math?
His rabbit ate his homework. - Why are magicians good at football?
They’re great at hocus-poking. - How do magicians get their bags through airport security?
With abraca-baggage. - What did the magician say to the rabbit?
You’re hare today, gone tomorrow.
34. Zombie Jokes
- Why don’t zombies eat popcorn?
Because it goes right through them. - What’s a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders. - Why did the zombie go to school?
He wanted to improve his dead-ucation. - What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaaaaains! - Why don’t zombies go swimming?
They’re afraid of the life guard.
35. Relationship Jokes
- Why don’t relationships last on the moon?
Because there’s no atmosphere. - Why did the couple bring a ladder to their date?
Because they wanted to take things to the next level. - Why are relationships like algebra?
You look at your X and wonder Y. - What did one boat say to the other?
Are you up for a little row-mance? - How do you organize a space-themed wedding?
You planet.
36. Superhero Jokes
- Why did Spider-Man break up with his girlfriend?
She found him too clingy. - What’s Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
The punchline. - Why did Superman always fail art class?
He could never draw a crowd. - Why did the Hulk bring a bar of soap to his workout?
He wanted to be clean AND mean. - What’s Thor’s favorite type of food?
Thunder-bread.
37. Vegetable Jokes
- Why don’t carrots make good spies?
Because they always get caught. - What do you call a vegetable that studies law?
A su-pea. - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing. - What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me! - Why are peas so bad at arguments?
They always split.
38. Chicken Jokes
- Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. - What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
Roost beef. - Why didn’t the chicken tell a joke?
Because it would crack up! - Why was the chicken so good at basketball?
Because she always had foul shots. - How do chickens send mail?
In hen-velopes.
39. Winter Jokes
- Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because he was a cool dog! - What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle. - What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
Iced tea. - What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball. - What do snowmen do when they get angry?
They have a meltdown.
40. Random Funny Jokes
- What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?
Live stream. - Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have tiny ant-bodies. - Why did the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired. - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one. - Why are elevator jokes so classic?
They work on many levels.
